OKAY BESTIES gather ROUND because I just had the most UNHINGED reading experience 🫖 of my ENTIRE LIFE and I need to TELL you about it ~spins in a circle with the book held above my head like a DRAMATIC PROPELLER~.

So I picked up this thing called Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book) right?? Like a NORMAL person I thought oh cool a novelization of that silly movie about knights and coconuts 🥥 and horses that are ALSO coconuts 🥴 I even put on my comfy reading turtleneck and made a cup of tea with honey 🍯 ~settles into a COZY position with snacks~

And then I OPENED it.

AND IT’S A SCREENPLAY.

JUST THE SCREENPLAY. in a book. with PHOTOGRAPHS and GILLIAM SKETCHES 🎨 sprinkled through it like confetti at a funeral ⚰️✨ but wait — it gets WEIRDER. Because parts of the final draft are just scribbled out ✏️ like somebody sat there with a black pen 🖊️ and went ~scribble scribble~ on sections that got CUT from the movie and I’m sorry wHaT?? That is the MOST unhinged publishing decision I have EVER encountered and I am OBSESSED like a raccoon with a glittery trash can 🦝✨

And ALSO — ALSO — they included the first draft in the same book 📜 which is like… almost NOTHING like the final movie??? And parts of it ended up in the TV SERIES that happened AFTER John Cleese LEFT?? Which is WILD because this book was published in 1977 and that means future episodes 🌈 were already GERMINATING inside this weird little seed of a draft and NOBODY KNEW yet ~holds head in hands and makes a small wounded noise~

But the PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE. The thing that absolutely DESTROYED me 🏚️💥.

They included the producer’s letter. A LITERAL LETTER from the producer to Michael Palin that is basically “hey sorry our movie 📽️ was kind of a DISASTER here’s the financial statement 💸” AND THEY PRINTED THE FINANCIAL STATEMENT. In the BOOK. As a CHAPTER. I am NOT OKAY and I will NEVER be okay 📉💀 ~fans self with the book aggressively~

~takes a deep breath and stares at the ceiling for a solid twenty seconds~ 🌌

OK but like… WHY though??? Why would you print a SCREENPLAY with the cut parts LITERALLY SCRIBBLED OUT ✏️ instead of just… not including those sections?? And why would you attach your PRODUCER’S FINANCIAL APOLOGY 💌 as a CHAPTER HEADING?? This is the kind of deranged archival energy 📂 that I LIVE for. It’s like someone said “we don’t know what a book is SUPPOSED to be so we’re just gonna PUT STUFF in it” and honestly?? That’s ART. That’s HIGH ART. That’s hanging in a museum 🖼️ with a little plaque that says “this is a SCREENPLAY with the BORING BITS scribbled out and we REFUSE to apologize.”

I literally felt like John Cena SURPRISE entering my reading time 🚨 because I did NOT see ANY of this coming and my poor brain 🧠 was just standing there like a confused little meerkat 🐛 ~makes the thousand yard stare face into the middle distance~ This book is literally a WITNESS to its own PRODUCTION DISASTER and it’s just SITTING there on the shelf like a normal OBJECT when it’s actually a TIME CAPSULE of filmmaking PANIC ⏳😱

LIVE REACTION STAMP

And then there’s the PRODUCER LETTER situation. HELLO?? What do you MEAN you printed a “Statement of Financial Position and Cost of Production Statement” 🧾 as LITERATURE?? That’s like if someone published the Lord of the Rings 🧙 and then included a chapter called “Sorry We Lost Money On The Weathertop Scene” with a TABLE OF EXPENSES broken down by orc wrangling costs. I am LOSING my absolute MIND. This is the most TRANSPARENT publishing decision in HISTORY and I respect it SO much 💅📊 ~salutes the producer from across four decades~

And like the ORIGINAL release had a PLAIN BLACK COVER with a CUT OUT WINDOW 🪟 revealing the typeface inside. That’s not a book design, that’s a MYSTERY BOX. It’s giving “forbidden ancient grimoire 🔮” meets “boring corporate binder from 1977 📁” and I am SO here for it. Why did they DO that?? Who APPROVED that?? I want to SHAKE their HAND.

LIVE REACTION STAMP

I gave this book a SOLID CHAOS RATING of SEVEN COCONUTS OUT OF FIVE 🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥 because honestly it transcends normal rating systems. This is not a book you READ, it’s a book you EXPERIENCE like an archaeological dig 🏺 where you keep finding WEIRDER layers of publishing decisions the deeper you go. Every page turn 📖 is a GAMBLE. Is this the screenplay? Is this a Terry Gilliam drawing of a GIANT FOOT? Is this a TRAILER SCRIPT?? Is this a FINANCIAL STATEMENT?? You NEVER know and that’s the BEAUTY of it 💫.

BICKY’S BESTS rates this MOST UNIQUE READING EXPERIENCE OF ALL TIME and I will NEVER recover 📖💀✨ ~closes the book gently and places it on a velvet cushion like a sacred relic~

OK bye besties go find a copy and experience the SCRIBBLE-OUT sensation for yourself!! 💖🥥