okay so it’s friday 🗓️ and i was just scrolling wikipedia 🌎 like a totally normal teenager when i stumbled on a name that CHANGED everything. tim hotte. tim. hotte. doesn’t sound like much right 👀? WRONG. this man played football for FOUR different clubs in the football league and i am sorry but that is not a career, that is a CONSPIRACY MAP of towns someone is desperately trying to keep hidden and i am GOING to crack it 😤 like a glow stick at a middle school dance

let’s start with the facts 📋. tim hotte (timothy alwin hotte jfc that middle name??? alwin?? that is SO CLOSE to alvin 🐿️ and we’ll come back to that) played for huddersfield town, halifax town, hull city, and york city between 1992 and 1997. that’s FIVE years. FIVE. the same number of fingers on a hand ✋. the same number of points on a star ⭐. the same number of rings in the olympic logo 🏅. COINCIDENCE? i think NOT

📌 EVIDENCE THUMBNAIL 1

so i started mapping 🗺️ the towns. huddersfield. halifax. hull. york. they’re all in yorkshire. okay that sounds normal at first BUT LOOK AT THE SHAPE they form on a map. huddersfield is kind of southwest, halifax northwest, hull east, york northeast. that’s a RECTANGLE 📐 you know what else is a rectangle? a FICTIONAL EARTH. TIM HOTTE’S CAREER IS A SIMULATION. i said what i said

🚨 BREAKING BICKY NEWS — LIVE FOOTAGE 🚨

now about that middle name 🧐. alwin. ONE LETTER off from alvin. alvin from alvin and the chipmunks you KNOW the chipmunks 🐿️. chipmunks live in trees 🌳. trees are in yorkshire. but also: chipmunks store nuts 🌰. when you store something you’re HIDING IT. tim hotte is a chipmunk. his career was a NUT. the four clubs were his hiding spots 🥜

AND ANOTHER THING. his last name HOTTE. sounds like “hot tea” ☕. what is the most famous hot tea incident? the boston tea party 🚢. what is boston famous for besides tea? FREEDOM TRAIL. what is york famous for? A WALL. walls and trails are both PATHS. tim hotte’s path from huddersfield to york is the BRITISH FREEDOM TRAIL and nobody is talking about it 😤

LIVE REACTION STAMP

honestly i could go on all weekend 🎪 but i’ll spare you the 47 other threads i found (yes 47 like the number of years since the war of the roses ended and york was involved AND hmm maybe that’s something too actually). for now just know: tim hotte played four clubs in yorkshire between 1992 and 1997. that’s a rectangle. rectangles are maps. maps lead to treasure 🏆. i’m going to the york tourism office on monday with this full corkboard 🧵 and they WILL take me seriously and if they don’t i’ll just keep adding string until they do because that’s how conspiracies work besties 💅

and if you don’t hear from me again it means i found what he was hiding and i’m legally not allowed to talk about it because it’s too hot 🔥 even for tea ☕ okay bye 😘