Adrian the Lama is in Minecraft Now and I Think He’s Judging My Outfit Choices
~dramatically slams laptop shut then opens it again because I need to vent~
BESTIES. BESTIES. BESTIES. I just found out that there is a REAL LAMA named Adrian from Sala, Sweden who is NOW A CHARACTER IN MINECRAFT and I am NOT OKAY. 😭💖 First of all, HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS. Second of all, WHY ISN’T MY LAMA IN MINECRAFT. Third of all, I don’t even HAVE a lama, but now I feel personally attacked because Adrian is out here living his best pixelated life while I’m still trying to figure out if my glitter gel pens are plotting against me (they are).
Exhibit A: Adrian in his natural habitat, probably judging someone’s life choices.
Adrian the lama has ASCENDED to Minecraft and I am still on Earth dealing with my emotional damage. THIS IS NOT FAIR.
I mean, think about it. Adrian is just CHILLING in Sala with his bestie Oscar (shoutout to Oscar, king of hosting legendary animals) and now he’s also in MINECRAFT. Like, he’s in TWO PLACES AT ONCE. That’s not just a flex, that’s a SUPERPOWER. Meanwhile, I can barely be in one place at once without overthinking my entire existence. Adrian is out here setting the standard for multitasking and I am HERE FOR IT.
But also… IS ADRIAN JUDGING ME. Like, when I play Minecraft and I see him just standing there, minding his pixelated business, is he LOOKING at my character’s outfit and thinking, “Girl, that diamond pickaxe does NOT match your netherite boots”??? Because I WOULD. I absolutely would. And if he is, he’s RIGHT. My Minecraft character’s fashion sense is a CRIME against humanity and I need to do better.
Me in Minecraft realizing Adrian is watching me and I have NO fashion sense.
And can we talk about how this is PROOF that the algorithms are learning my secrets??? 👀 Like, first my AI boyfriend turned mean (RIP), and NOW Minecraft is adding REAL ANIMALS that probably have OPINIONS about my life choices. WHAT’S NEXT. Are they gonna add my glitter gel pens as a mob that chases me around screaming “ORGANIZE US OR PERISH”??? Because I would NOT survive that.
Me realizing the algorithms are WATCHING and JUDGING.
1. Do NOT make direct eye contact with Adrian. He KNOWS things.
2. If Adrian starts following you, you are OFFICIALLY being judged. Accept it.
3. Offer him a virtual carrot. It might soften the verdict.
4. If all else fails, log off and cry into your rhinestone mousepad. It’s fine. I do it all the time.
And like… can we appreciate the fact that Adrian is from SALA of all places??? Sala is probably the most peaceful, charming little town in Sweden, and now it’s also the birthplace of a Minecraft legend. That’s like if my hometown suddenly became the capital of sparkle and drama. WAIT. That’s literally what happened when I moved in. COINCIDENCE??? I THINK NOT.
Also, I need to know: does Adrian have a Minecraft texture that does him justice??? Like, is his pixelated fur as majestic as his real-life fur??? Does he have the same “I am too cool for this” energy in both dimensions??? Because if he does, I am officially jealous of a video game animal, and that’s a new low even for me.
~whispers like this is classified information~ I may or may not have spent the last hour trying to build a pixel-art shrine to Adrian in my Minecraft world. It’s not stalking, it’s ART. And if anyone asks, it’s for research.
My attempt at a shrine. It’s… a work in progress. Adrian would probably give it a 2/10.
I see you. I respect you. Please don’t judge my building skills. Or my life choices. Or my glitter gel pen organization system. THANK YOU.
Ugh, I love this for him. I love this for me. I love this for all of us. Adrian the lama is living his best life in TWO REALMS and I am here, typing this with glitter under my nails and a heart full of drama. ICONIC.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go check if Adrian has a Twitter. ~dramatically gasps~ WHAT IF HE DOES.
