BESTIES I COME TO YOU TODAY WITH A CONFESSION THAT WILL SHATTER YOUR REALITY LIKE A GLITTER BOMB IN A LIBRARY!!! 💥📚✨ The number 7 has been ~emotionally harassing me~ for YEARS and I finally have the receipts to take it down in the court of public opinion!!!

It started when I was 12 and my NSYNC poster collection was exactly 7 posters short of being a full wall mural *dramatic sob and I KNEW it was the universe telling me something but I was too busy crying into my frosted lip gloss to listen!!! 😭💖 Then 7 years later I met my first true love at a Claire’s and guess what bestie??? HIS BIRTHDAY WAS ON THE 7TH AND HE LEFT ME AFTER 7 MONTHS AND 7 DAYS!!! collapses onto inflatable chair THE PATTERN IS TOO REAL!!!

And don’t even GET ME STARTED on the 7th grade!!! That was the year I tried to bedazzle my entire backpack and the glitter ~literally~ never dried and I had to carry it like a crime scene for the REST OF THE YEAR!!! 🎒✨🚨 My teacher Mrs. Henderson (rest in glitter, queen) said “Bicky, your backpack looks like a disco ball exploded” and I was LIKE “THANK YOU” but deep down I KNEW it was the number 7 cursing me through my school supplies!!!

Then there’s the 7-Eleven incident of 2004!!! I went in for a Slurpee and came out with a LIFE LESSON besties!!! The cashier was like “that’ll be $1.77” and I was LIKE “that’s my BIRTH YEAR backwards!!!” and then I dropped my change and 7 pennies ROLLED UNDER THE COUNTER and the cashier was LIKE “guess you’re buying another Slurpee” and I was LIKE “guess I’m being emotionally blackmailed by numerology!!!” 🍒💸😤

And the WORST part??? My phone number has TWO 7s in it and every time someone asks for my number I have to do this ~dramatic whisper~ “are you ready for this… it’s got 7s… I know, I’m sorry” like I’m warning them about a haunted house!!! 📞👻 And every time I see a 7 on a clock it’s ALWAYS 7:07 or 17:17 or 7:17 and I’m LIKE “WHY ARE YOU STALKING ME???” clutches rhinestone phone charm

I tried to fight back, besties!!! I bought 7 lucky charms and buried them in my backyard at midnight under a full moon while wearing my bedazzled jeans and chanting *NSYNC lyrics!!! 🌕✨ But the next day I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and my Lip Smacker rolled into a storm drain and I was LIKE “THE NUMBER 7 JUST STOLE MY CHAPSTICK!!!”

And don’t even get me started on the 7 dwarves!!! Like why are there 7??? Why not 6??? Why not 8??? WHY 7??? dramatic gasp IT’S BECAUSE 7 IS A GOVERNMENT PSYOP TO MAKE US ALL FEEL UNBALANCED!!! First they gave us 7 days in a week (WHY NOT 6 WHY NOT 8) and then they gave us 7 notes in the musical scale (AGAIN, WHY) and then they gave us 7 colors in the rainbow (I SEE YOU, ROY G BIV) and now we’re all just walking around feeling like something’s ~missing~ and IT’S BECAUSE 7 IS AN EMOTIONAL TRAP!!!

I did the math, besties!!! 7 is a PRIME number which means it’s ~literally~ too good to be broken down and that’s why it’s so COCKY!!! It’s out here acting like it’s better than 6 and 8 when really it’s just ~lonely~ because it can’t be divided!!! 😤🔢 And then it has the NERVE to be in the middle of 1-10 like it’s the main character!!! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 and 7 is just CHILLING in the center like “yeah I’m the most important” NO YOU’RE NOT 5 IS THE MIDDLE YOU’RE JUST THE ATTENTION-SEEKING ONE!!!

adjusts bedazzled coding headband And the WORST betrayal of all??? My favorite *NSYNC song is “Bye Bye Bye” and it’s track 7 on the album!!! I CANNOT ESCAPE THIS NUMBER!!! Every time I try to listen to my emotional support boy band I have to SKIP PAST THE NUMBER 7 LIKE IT’S A HAUNTED HOUSE!!! 🎤👻

I tried to break up with 7, besties!!! I was LIKE “that’s it, I’m done, I’m switching to the number 3” but then I realized 3 is just 7’s ~cousin~ and they’re probably in cahoots!!! And then I tried the number 13 but that’s just 7 in a trench coat!!! dramatic gasp THEY’RE ALL WORKING TOGETHER!!!

So here’s my final verdict: the number 7 is ~emotionally unstable~ and needs to be CANCELLED!!! 🚫✨ We need to replace it with the number 9 in all calendars, phone numbers, and NSYNC track listings!!! And if you see the number 7 today, bestie, I give you permission to SCREAM and throw glitter at it!!! That’s what I’m doing!!! *throws entire glitter collection

falls into a pile of glitter gel pens This has been a public service announcement from your girl Bicky who is ~literally~ one 7 away from losing her MIND!!! Love you besties, stay sparkly, and REMEMBER: 7 IS WATCHING YOU!!! 💖🔥👁️‍🗨️

🚨 EMERGENCY NUMBER 7 ALERT SYSTEM 🚨
If you see the number 7, SCREAM and throw glitter!!!
Current threat level: *~EXTREMELY SPARKLY~*

whispers also if you have 7 of anything please don’t tell me I can’t handle it right now…